Yes, we had a beautiful day yesterday. Our facilitator who has made good friends with everyone talked the camp director into letting the children spend the day with us at the beach. This really seems unheard of to us. Many, many people never get to spend much time at all with there children when they come to adopt. We feel really, really blessed. She has said that we can spend time with them twice a day everyday, wow. And now is where my fears want to set in. It all looks so pretty and easy, but for me, it is not. As many of you know, I have stepped way out of my comfort zone. So far I have been very comforted by other Americans that are experiecing the same things we are and also by Alla, our facilitator, is so confident, takes care of everything for us, says all the right things to the children to comfort the children, and encourages them how to speak to us and call us mama and papa. Well, today we get to do it all alone. Just Brad and I going back to the camp by ourselves. Brad probably has no fears in this like I do. Why is something like this so scary to me? This whole journey is scary to me and has been from the beginning. It would be so much easier to go run and hide. This is just another time in my life when I have looked to other people other than God to be my guide. Today is the day I have no other choice. I have to turn to Him to be my strengh. Why can't we just see that we can't go a day without His strengh? Why do we try to do it on our own until we have to? I have known from the beginning that I could not do this and only He could, but I just keep on trying myself or just doing whatever whoever is with me says to do. I know this is not God's plan. I have never been a leader, always a follower, but God wants me to follow Him, not everyone else. You would think that as I got to be an adult that I would have grown out of this, evidently I have not. This is my prayer for you today. It is easy to go through your day and just survive. We want so bad to show Maxim and Natasha and all the other children God's love today. Not just love, but God's supernatural love. We cannot do this on our own. This may seem so small, but it is not. It is huge to us! We do not have words to say to them to comfort them because they do not understand our language. Help us Lord! It is 10:30 in the morning here and 2:30 in the middle of the night there. You will not get my prayer request till after we have spent our time with them, but I know that we have many people praying for us and I know that they will somehow get there right when we need them. That is something only God can do also, but I know He will somehow do it. That is the amazing God we serve! Thank you in advance for your prayers, we need you!
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