You can't even imagine how much I miss my family and friends. I have realized since I have been so long without my family that they mean more to me than I ever imagined. Just one of the many things God is doing in my life.
This is the hardest thing I have ever done. Being without Brad to guide me has been so hard. I really have no clue in what to do in many situations. I have been on my knees alot, knowing that is where God wants me in the first place. It is the best place to be. I am so thankful that the Lord has sent Lisa to me. She and I and our adopted children are all staying in the same apartment in Kiev. Can't really imagine what it would be like without her. I know that God did that. He sent just what I needed. He has given me all I have needed each time to make it through. I am so thankful and I know that no matter how hard this will be, He will continue to do this.
I always knew from the very beginning that this would be a hard road. I knew God had called me to something I knew nothing about. I still don't. I walk each day by faith and I know that I will have to continue to do this. If you are a Christian God has called you to put your life to the side and do His work. He has called us as Christians to take care of the needy, poor and widows and orphans. These children have broken my heart. They are at the top of the list for needy. They just need someone to love them and guide them through this life. I know this in my heart but sometimes it is so hard to get in your mind. It is such a hard thing to imagine. We cannot put ourself in their shoes. We have no clue. I have always tried to block bad things out of my mind. Ignore them, try to act like they are not real, because I had no idea what to do about it. I believe that God wants us to see these things. He has placed me in this position and has called me into this service. I am not doing this because I want to do this. I am doing this because God has told us to do this. Every morning I read Psalm 121. I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. This is all I can do.
Yes, they stayed in our home for 5 weeks but I can't begin to wrap my mind around where they have been and what they have been through. Please pray for them. This is a very hard thing for them. They were fine while we had a translator, but now I know at least me and Natasha both are so far out of our comfor zones. This time was needed for us to be on our own, but it is hard. All I can do is hug and sometimes that just doesn't feel right either. It is so amazing though, when God shows you those little glimpses into the His plan. He shows me that no matter how hard this is, that one day I will see the amazing work He did in all of our lives through this.
To see Natasha smile is like the greatest gift ever. To see where she has been and then see where she is going. This was so emotional for me as we left the orphanage. I just saw how each of those children could walk out of that place and never be the same. If only God's people would answer His call. Please pray about this. Ask God how you can help these children. I was very saddened to find out that my little Misha was not on the list where he could be adopted. I tried to get his director to find out about him. He called him up to the front before we left and asked him right in front of me about his family. His mother had given up all parental rights to him, and his father, which hadn't ,was in prison. He asked him did he want to start the procedure to try to sever his fathers rights so that he would be able to be adopted if he had the opportunity. He said yes. They said that he had a grandmother that used to come and visit but hasn't in a long time. They said that this procedure would take about 18 months. He is now 13. By the time he is available he will be 15 and close to being sent out of the orphanage. I will do all I can to find him a home. He is so precious. At their 1st day of school celebration he walked up to me and Lisa and gave us each some of the flowers that they had. He is just such a little gentleman that just needs that chance. Please pray for him also.
I know this is very long but I feel like I haven't had time to write much lately. I need to give Maxim and Natasha my time. But of course now everyone is in bed. Just alittle more and I let you go. Tomorrow we should find out if we will get their passports when we expected to. If we do, we should be having medical appointments and Embassy appts. on Wed. and Thurs., possibly all on Wed., which would be wonderful. This is what we are praying for. We are so ready to be home. I can't wait to see everyone. Love to all, Tracey
